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How to refuse your child without saying NO

How to refuse your child without saying NO

The term "NO" often enters the child's vocabulary from an early age, when he learns to speak and is taken from the dialogues you have with him or those around him. If the little one frequently hears you forbidding him something by using his categorical "no", he will follow your example and answer you with the same currency.

Discover smart alternatives to replace this negative word in the discipline of the child, as it is inefficient and harmful to his development! The obsessive repetition of "no" in the way of the initiatives the child takes every day puts a brake on his creativity and development.

Besides the fact that it is frustrating for him to be banned from almost anything, the specialists warn that he encourages him to act of rebellion and negative behavior in late childhood.

In addition, parents tend to be very firm and strict when ordering the child to "NO" to do a certain activity, which gives rise to the most diverse reactions in his behavior: screams, anger attacks, crying, teasing on foot etc.

It is difficult to cope with the personality and temperament crises that the young child demonstrates, but it is advisable to discipline him properly and constructively.

Formulate the ban as an explanation!

If you avoid using "no" in his discipline, it does not mean that you must allow him to do absolutely anything or accept his inappropriate behavior. You just have to replace the "no" farm with a prohibition formulated in other words.

Formulating a ban in the form "I know you want to go out, but now it's lunch time and we'll eat. We'll just go out for a walk" or "I know you want some chocolate, but if you eat too much at once, it hurts your tummy and you will not be able to go outside, playing "are more useful in his discipline.

In this form, the child not only hears, but also understands why he can no longer eat chocolate or cannot go out. It lowers his frustration level and the risk of revolt. Isn't it so many times that you surprised your child by biting, hitting or playing with food and that the first impulse was to say "no, you can't do that!"?

He doesn't understand the meaning of "no" or the message you want to convey as you do, as an adult. He needs plausible explanations for him to stop doing any more activity.

Here are some common situations in which you might be tempted to say "no" and the smart alternatives you can use:

  • The child plays with food - "food is made to be eaten, to be played, to play with toys;
  • The child strikes you, bites or pushes - "if you are angry, use words and verbally tell me what bothers you; the blows are painful and make me cry"
  • The child breaks or destroys the toys - "let's show you how to use the toy correctly to play with it; if you pull it, it will ruin it and it will be impossible to play with it ever again"
  • The child has an access to anger and the screech of the mother-fire - "I can only help you if you stop with this behavior and tell me verbally why you are so angry or angry".

Distract him and offer him alternatives to his behavior

The small child does not react very well to the negative attitudes coming from you. In addition, they often only encourage more of his negative behaviors, in order to attract your attention or to push your limits.

The most appropriate and peaceful way you can convince the child to give up breaking the newspaper, to play with your phone or to put his hand on the knife or oven when cooking is to quickly distract his attention.

Give them attractive alternatives, otherwise you will not give up on the activities they carry out with such attention and curiosity. For example, suggest in a gentle tone that instead of the mobile phone to play with his own toy phone. In order not to break the newspaper, tell him that it belongs to you and offer him a booklet to browse or play with it. The same method applies with the touch of the oven or knives. Give her the "kitchen" utensils of toys to have fun with while you cook.

Have you ever tried to discipline your child by removing "no" from your vocabulary? Do you think that discipline works without "no"? Tell us your opinions in the comments section below!

Tags Child discipline Child education Child behavior Child behavior problems