Comments

Adoptive parents, what questions should they ask themselves?

Adoptive parents, what questions should they ask themselves?


Parents who decide to adopt a child, before beginning the necessary procedures for adoption, must answer a few questions to make sure they are ready for the child's upbringing.

General questions

  • How do I feel knowing that I am not genetically related to this child?
  • How will I tell the child about adoption?
  • How will I help my child understand his past, when he has very little information, when he has a difficult past or when it comes to abandonment?
  • Am I ready to take the child on its origins and culture?
  • Am I ready for a possible confrontation with biological parents?
    Questions about adopting a child of a different ethnicity
  • Do I have family members or close friends of any other ethnicity, race or culture? If not, how can I develop such relationships?
  • Am I willing to change my domicile or register in different organizations to find a person to guide me in my relationship with the child of another ethnicity or culture?
  • Can I provide for the specific needs of the child, necessary for the child to develop his own identity and self-confidence?
  • How will I support my child when faced with racial prejudice and discrimination?
  • Can I accept the fact that if I adopt a child of color this means that my family will become a mixed one?
    Questions about the orphanage
  • Am I willing to learn the details of the life that the child has led to the orphanage in order to gradually establish a daily program in my home?
  • How does the fact that institutionalized children know that they may have developmental delays and emotional problems influence me?
  • How will I cope with the adaptation process my child will go through when he or she enters the family?
  • Am I willing to seek help if the adaptation process is difficult?
    Questions of the single parent who wants to adopt
  • Do I trust that I can make all the decisions about the child myself?
  • Am I willing to ask for help? Emotional? Financial? Physical? Of the family members, friends, who will be next to me in an emergency?
  • Am I at odds with the idea of ​​postponing a pregnancy and a marriage as a way to start a family?
  • Does the service offer me flexibility when I have to stay with the child at home because he has become ill or will have to attend school meetings? Does it allow me to spend enough time with the child?
  • How will my parenting status, current and future relationships affect me?
    Questions about adopting a small child
  • Have I solved all the problems caused by the fact that I cannot be the parent of a newborn / baby?
  • Am I willing to integrate the past of the child in building security and trust in the future?
  • How can I help my child to overcome certain traumas suffered in the past, to establish a connection with the new family and to adapt to my lifestyle?
  • Am I smart enough to accept an initial rejection and yet keep my focus on building a relationship with the child?
  • Do I have enough time and resistance to raise a child who has just come from an orphanage?
  • Am I realistic enough to understand that any emotional, physical or cognitive delay of the child cannot be resolved only by affection?
    Gabriela Hotareanu
    Writing Child. ro