If they live in shame, children learn to feel guilty

If they live in shame, children learn to feel guilty

Books and notebooks on the floor, on the desk and thrown on various shelves. Pens, pencils, dolls falling under the chair, on the bed, on the ceiling. Clothes thrown in every corner of the room, unmade bed, backpack thrown on the bed. Socks, pencils, toys on the desk.

This looks like a little girl's room in the morning, when she was about 8 years old.

When I entered the room I had the sensation that a hurricane had just passed and had overturned all possible objects throughout the room.

In this "little chaos" my "big" child was sitting very calm and doing his homework, on a desk corner that did not fit the notebook he was writing. The topic was mathematics, if I remember correctly.

Half of the notebook was suspended in the air, while the child was writing on the other half! And this in the conditions in which he had a huge office, on a whole corner of the room!

An instant wave of anger and uproar cut my breath! This is unacceptable! No, it can't be that way anymore! When will this child understand that it is very important to be ordained? How can he concentrate on doing his homework in this chaos? Isn't everything tired around her?

Dozens of thoughts, which more than angry.

How many times do I tell him? Why don't you ever listen to me? I spoiled it too much. I made all the molds and now, look, look what kind of child he has become!

Anger and guilt. A combination as dangerous as an atomic bomb

What do you think happened?

The hurricane I talked about earlier had been a little kid besides what I did from that moment.

Without warning my child in any way, I started to throw all the objects that fell into my hand. We yelled and threw everything I saw in my path.

It didn't matter that it was the favorite toy or the new pen. It didn't matter that they were homework books or school books. Everything was on foot, with incredible speed.

Within seconds there was a huge pile in the middle of the room, and I kept yelling, "You're not ashamed? How can you be so indolent?"

The child was crying, scared and asking me: "Mommy, no, please, no ... no doll!" But I didn't hear, I didn't see, I felt nothing but my own anger.

When I had no more to throw on the floor, I stopped and said, "Things that you do not put in their place will reach the basket!" and I went out of the room by swinging the door.

I left my child crying, looking desperately behind me ...

After I calmed down, I returned to the room, and only then did I know how much I was wrong.

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Tags Emotions for children Feelings of guilt in mothers